Positive Path Coaching

I woke up this morning with a question in my mind: What do the children need? My children, your children, everyone’s children, everywhere. It’s a big question, but I realized the answer is so simple. It came to me in an instant before I really even had my eyes open. But, if you want the answer to be a magic pill that you can go online and order today, you should stop reading, find a different blog. Because the answer is too simple for that. All it requires is you. It’s our presence that they need; our undivided attention for a little bit each day. Not while we’re making dinner or reading email or driving somewhere. Not while we’re focused on some important-to-us aspect of adult life. But really tuning in and listening and sitting with them.

For this we have to slow down, stop talking, just be. When I take time to do this after school it’s interesting to see what happens. If it’s been a few days since I last sat down I might be mobbed by small people wanting hugs, cuddling, a chance to chat about school or books, or for me to read to them – even though they read perfectly well on their own. If I’ve been remembering to take the time to just be with them lately, they might gather in the same room or not, read a book on their own, sit nearby and do homework, or plop into another chair to talk. I figure that on these days, their cup of well being, their internal reserves, are pretty much full and they’re not feeling the need as much, but they still like the reassurance that I’m there.

One afternoon a friend stopped by to visit. We sat down in the living room as the kids were getting snacks and finding stuff to do. Without any kind of choreography or direction, each child, one by one – including the teenager – came by and sat briefly in my lap or on the arm of my chair, chatted for a few minutes, and then went on their way. It was so fascinating to see their need to physically and verbally check in before moving on to an activity. Building in time to re-connect after time apart can be really important for your child. If it’s been hours since they’ve seen you, it’s likely they need some time with you.

One of my clients found that she could positively guide the afternoon by having “couch time” with her kids at the end of the school day. They play games, give each other foot rubs, talk about the day, and just commune. She didn’t think she could do it at first because there was so much on the to-do list: dinner to be made, gardens to be tended, laundry to be finished. But what she found was that everyone needed this time so much and that when the kids felt loved and tended, then she could get more done later on – and everyone was happy to boot. Another client who likes to leave post-it note reminders on the kitchen cupboards wrote one that simply said: SIT ON THE COUCH. It’s her reminder to take a break, stop doing, just be and let her boys gather round.

I also aim to build in connection time before bed. At our house each of the younger kids gets read to individually at night. There’s always a chapter book going and I read for a while and then we chat about whatever’s on their minds. It’s a good time to check on their emotional barometer and engage in some physical affection. Sometimes in those quiet moments a question or topic that’s been niggling at them will come up and we’ll have some time to discuss it. If it’s something distressing I have them wrap it up and hang onto it to talk about the next day since getting worked up about a topic when you’re tired and ready for bed hasn’t panned out well for us in the past. But overall, that nighttime snuggle and reading time has been the best sleeping medicine I could ever give them. When they begin to drift off knowing that someone loves them, cares for them, is listening to their concerns, is making the night safe for them, it’s easy to make their way to Dreamland.

One of my favorite memories from childhood is the day my mom felt goofy. I don’t remember how it started, but my brother and I were doing sit-ups in the family room and laughing really hard. My mom came in and decided to join us in our hilarity. It made us laugh even harder as we watched her try to do sit-ups too. It seemed like we were there a very long time, laying on the floor laughing so hard our stomachs hurt, then trying to do sit ups and cracking up again. I remember thinking that I didn’t want that moment to end. Someone got the camera to record the day when mom joined in our silliness. The photos don’t do justice to the joyfulness that day – out-of-focus giant grins, squinchy eyes, and messy hair. When I think of how much fun that was it makes me want to get on the floor immediately with my kids. Some days I don’t remember to take the time. I walk by them on some important adult business while they’re on the floor giggling. I need to join in more often so that they have memories of the days (more than one, I hope) when their mom felt goofy and got down to horse around with them.

That magic doesn’t require purchasing new software or finding another great after-school activity. It requires nothing beyond you taking a few minutes to be present, stop doing adult things, and hang with your kids.

A new year. A time to begin again – perhaps by turning over a new leaf – to care for ourselves and those we love. Why is self-care part of a parenting blog? Because if we parents do not care for ourselves in a way that fills up our internal cup of patience, love, and goodness, then we have nothing left to give to those in our care. And you know that feeling: you’ve had it, you’re done, you have no smiles or kind words left. You were done parenting an hour ago and yet the children are still awake. No clone has come to take your place and you are running on fumes.

How do we get this way? And more importantly, how do we get out of that space and stay out?

Parenting in this day and age is not easy and it can take a toll on our well-being. We’re called on to do so many things in the limited hours of the day and it seems like someone always needs something from us NOW. We expect to be perfect parents and have perfect kids, but because each of us is mighty human every day, it can feel like failure. That does not refill your cup, that drains it. So the place we’re often operating from is a nearly dry well, and that doesn’t feel good.

When I share this message with clients I often hear how hard it is for them to take time for themselves. There are the typical obstacles: time, money, child care. But the hurdle that seems the largest is not wanting to appear selfish. I can understand that. I think that we are often given the message that we should not sit down and enjoy ourselves unless the work is all done. And the work is never all done. So what we tell ourselves is that we should not relax and take a break, and if we do we should feel very guilty. What kind of way to live is that?

There’s a reason why in the safety announcements on a plane you are instructed to put your own air mask on first before helping your child: if you are out of commission, so is your child. It seems to me it’s not selfish to take care of yourself first, it is crucial. When your cup is getting replenished each day by something, even something small, you have what you need to give love and attention to your child. When your cup is empty there is resentment, yelling, impatience. Just what we don’t want to subject our kids to. Aren’t they worth being cared for in a loving manner? Then start with yourself and model how to care for a being in a loving way.

Here’s where turning over a new leaf comes in. Think about what fills you up. What brings you joy? How do you take care of yourself, body, mind, and soul? Is what you’re currently doing adequate, or do you need more? Cheryl Richardson, a life coach and writer, has a wonderful book called Take Time for Your Life which has a progression of exercises that takes you through these questions and much more. The one that really got me going was identifying what drains your energy and eliminating it. More on that later as I think the topic deserves its own post.

Today is just to jumpstart your thinking, help you become aware. It’s not the first day of the year, but it’s as good as any day to reassess, to envision your ideal life, your preferred future, and to find just a couple steps to move in that direction.

When we take the time to replenish our parenting well, to bring ourselves fully into the present moment, to give those around us (the ones we love the most!) the best of ourselves, it makes for a beautiful picture. When we can imagine taking care of ourselves first so that we have enough to give to others as an unselfish thing, life takes on a different view. We have love, we have patience – enough to be generous with – instead of only leftover drips. Your family is worth it. You are worth it. Find something small that will help you to rejuvenate your well-being today.

Some simple ideas for small steps to recharge in a short amount of time:

+ play music that helps you set the mood you want – energetic, calming, fun

+ write in a journal

+ have a cup of tea and collect your thoughts

+ take a hot bath

+ read an uplifting book

+ go for a walk – brisk, meditative, or time to observe nature

+ talk on the phone with an inspirational friend

+ sink your hands into the garden dirt, some clay, a ball of playdough

+ do a little yoga

Set your intention to feel restored by whatever you choose!

The end of the year means a dining room table full of magazines, paper, scissors, and glue at our house. The project is known as the New Year Collage and it’s the way we wrap up every winter break. I’ve seen this idea offered up with different names: life board, vision board, vision maps, personal visual plan, but at our house it’s the New Year Collage. I’ll tell you how it plays out for us, what my inspiration was, and how to make it work for you.

The last few days of the year, or sometimes right on New Year’s Day, we round up all the magazines, postcards, artwork, photos, and little bits of beauty we’ve set aside. Then we spend some time thinking about what we want to bring into our lives in the next year. This idea of setting intentions works on different levels depending on age. For younger ones it might be simple things represented by an object like a new bike, a new dog. Other ideas might be activities like camping, being involved in a sport, or, for adults, being more faithful to a yoga practice. With more maturity concepts such as harmony, happiness, or connection could be part of the focus. Sometimes there’s a cause we want to be more involved in like bringing an end to hunger or living more closely to the earth.

Each person searches through the magazines to find images that represent their intentions for the new year and works on their own collage. When they feel like they have enough visuals, they take a big piece of construction paper or cardboard and start arranging and pasting. Sometimes we use artwork for a background.  Or cut out meaningful words or quotes and use them as a kind of frame. There are times when we’ve used watercolor or colored pencil to enhance them. Glitter even, when you want to manifest a particularly sparkly year! Every year they are unique, breathtakingly beautiful, and extremely personal. The collages are hung in the artist’s bedroom to be viewed in those impressionable moments before sleep and upon waking. They give us inspiration and focus all year.

Over the last several years of doing this with my children, I have observed their changing views of the world, themselves, the place they hold in the community. It gives us all a chance to reflect and to remember that while we cannot control everything in life, we can be thoughtful and intentional in how we connect to things, people, places, and ideas. The exercise helps us to think about where we want to focus our energy.

I have been doing some form of this exercise for over 20 years. I was living overseas the first time I made a collage like this. It was not new year’s, but I was home from work with a respiratory infection and a case of homesickness. I decided I’d spend the day doing some thinking about my life and where it was headed. I piled up the magazines and lounged on the couch in my sunny living room, cutting, thinking, hoping. I loved the pie-in-the-sky ideas I came up with, but it seemed impossible that any of it could come true. When it was dry I carefully folded it and stuck it in a notebook.  When I moved back to the States that notebook got put in a suitcase and then a box. The box got moved six times in the next four years and it was a long time before I laid eyes on the collage again. When I did I couldn’t believe it. Almost all of the things I had included had come to be. I was living the life I had envisioned! That’s when I realized this wasn’t an idle arts and crafts project, but a powerful tool to create the life of one’s dreams.

If this seems like something your family would enjoy, here are some tips for making it successful.

+ turn off the tv, put on some nice music, maybe make an easy-to-eat snack. Enjoy yourselves!

+ make sure the magazines you put out to be cut up are ones you are done with. There’s nothing worse than having someone fall in love with an image that’s on the back side of an article you wanted to read.

+ if it matters to you, choose the size of the finished project ahead of time so everyone knows how big the base will be. One year my daughter just kept taping more and more pieces on to fit in all of her dreams and it became huge. Paper that is 11 x 15 inches is a good size and if you like you can frame them instead of taping to the wall.

+ let the artist be in complete control of their work. It really is the process that is important here, not the product.

+ if you don’t want your table to be the collage work area for days and days, put a time limit on the project.  It has also worked for us to break it into two different sessions: one for finding images and doing all the cutting, the other for creating the collage.

+ be sure to include the year either in the collage or written on the back along with the artist’s name. It’s fun to look back at them later.

+ let the artist choose whatever images they like. If they want something simply because it’s beautiful or cute and cuddly, so be it. The ability to explain why something is chosen is not necessary.

+ sit down and do it with your kids. It’s important for our children to see us pondering the future, setting intentions, and talking about what we value bringing into our lives.

As for me, I can’t wait to sit down with my daughters and let the scissors fly on New Year’s Day! Last year, though my daughters sat down and created their visions and I intended to, I somehow never found the time. I have to admit to feeling a little lost without a beautiful piece of my own art on the wall in 2012. This year I will not miss out!

Wishing you all the best in 2013!

The events today in Newton, Connecticut are disturbing and heartbreaking.  When things in the world get this ugly, how do we talk to our children about them when we can barely comprehend them ourselves?

This quote from Fred Rogers has been giving me a little comfort today:

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.

So one thing would be finding some small way to focus on the positive, even if it’s very small. Things you could say might be:

Look how those children are comforting each other.  I know everyone in the town will be helping each other to get through this. I  am so thankful that our family is safe.

The following information from the National Association of School Psychologists is really good.  I encourage you to read it and employ whatever parts of it seem relevant to your family.  And remember those extra doses of hugs.

Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers
High profile acts of violence, particularly in schools, can confuse and frighten children who may feel in danger or worry that their friends or loved-ones are at risk. They will look to adults for information and guidance on how to react. Parents and school personnel can help children feel safe by establishing a sense of normalcy and security and talking with them about their fears.

1. Reassure children that they are safe. Emphasize that schools are very safe. Validate
their feelings. Explain that all feelings are okay when a tragedy occurs. Let children talk
about their feelings, help put them into perspective, and assist them in expressing these
feelings appropriately.

2. Make time to talk. Let their questions be your guide as to how much information to
provide. Be patient. Children and youth do not always talk about their feelings readily.
Watch for clues that they may want to talk, such as hovering around while you do the
dishes or yard work. Some children prefer writing, playing music, or doing an art project as
an outlet. Young children may need concrete activities (such as drawing, looking at picture
books, or imaginative play) to help them identify and express their feelings.

3. Keep your explanations developmentally appropriate.

• Early elementary school children need brief, simple information that should be
balanced with reassurances that their school and homes are safe and that adults are
there to protect them. Give simple examples of school safety like reminding children
about exterior doors being locked, child monitoring efforts on the playground, and
emergency drills practiced during the school day.

• Upper elementary and early middle school children will be more vocal in asking
questions about whether they truly are safe and what is being done at their school.
They may need assistance separating reality from fantasy. Discuss efforts of school and
community leaders to provide safe schools.

• Upper middle school and high school students will have strong and varying opinions
about the causes of violence in schools and society. They will share concrete
suggestions about how to make school safer and how to prevent tragedies in society.
Emphasize the role that students have in maintaining safe schools by following school
safety guidelines (e.g. not providing building access to strangers, reporting strangers on
campus, reporting threats to the school safety made by students or community
members, etc.), communicating any personal safety concerns to school administrators,
and accessing support for emotional needs.

4. Review safety procedures. This should include procedures and safeguards at school and
at home. Help children identify at least one adult at school and in the community to whom
they go if they feel threatened or at risk.

5. Observe children’s emotional state. Some children may not express their concerns
verbally. Changes in behavior, appetite, and sleep patterns can indicate a child’s level of
anxiety or discomfort. In most children, these symptoms will ease with reassurance and 2
time. However, some children may be at risk for more intense reactions. Children who have had a past traumatic experience or personal loss, suffer from depression or other mental illness, or with special needs may be at greater risk for severe reactions than others. Seek the help of mental health professional if you are at all concerned.

6. Limit television viewing of these events. Limit television viewing and be aware if the
television is on in common areas. Developmentally inappropriate information can cause
anxiety or confusion, particularly in young children. Adults also need to be mindful of the
content of conversations that they have with each other in front of children, even
teenagers, and limit their exposure to vengeful, hateful, and angry comments that might be
misunderstood.

7. Maintain a normal routine. Keeping to a regular schedule can be reassuring and
promote physical health. Ensure that children get plenty of sleep, regular meals, and
exercise. Encourage them to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities but don’t push them if they seem overwhelmed.

Suggested Points to Emphasize When Talking to Children

• Schools are safe places. School staff work with parents and public safety providers (local
police and fire departments, emergency responders, hospitals, etc.) to keep you safe.

• The school building is safe because … (cite specific school procedures).

• We all play a role in the school safety. Be observant and let an adult know if you see or
hear something that makes you feel uncomfortable, nervous or frightened.

• There is a difference between reporting, tattling or gossiping. You can provide
important information that may prevent harm either directly or anonymously by telling a
trusted adult what you know or hear.

• Don’t dwell on the worst possibilities. Although there is no absolute guarantee that
something bad will never happen, it is important to understand the difference between the
possibility of something happening and the probability that it will affect our school.

• Senseless violence is hard for everyone to understand. Doing things that you enjoy,
sticking to your normal routine, and being with friends and family help make us feel better
and keep us from worrying about the event.

• Sometimes people do bad things that hurt others. They may be unable to handle
their anger, under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or suffering from mental illness. Adults
(parents, teachers, police officers, doctors, faith leaders) work very hard to get those people
help and keep them from hurting others. It is important for all of us to know how to get
help if we feel really upset or angry and to stay away from drugs and alcohol.

• Stay away from guns and other weapons. Tell an adult if you know someone has a
gun. Access to guns is one of the leading risk factors for deadly violence.

• Violence is never a solution to personal problems. Students can be part of the
positive solution by participating in anti-violence programs at school, learning conflict
mediation skills, and seeking help from an adult if they or a peer is struggling with anger,
depression, or other emotions they cannot control.

Yes, you read that right.  Strewing.  It means to scatter or spread things untidily over a surface.  And it’s a great parenting tool, if you can believe it.

Picture this:  You find a book/game/craft you think your child would like and you immediately present it to them and tell them how it’s perfect for them and how they are absolutely going to love it.  And what happens?  They wrinkle nose/roll eyes/tune you out and completely reject whatever it is.

Now picture this:  You find something you know they will like – library books, art materials, some new things to build with, a great game.  You save it until you know they will have a window of time to spend or you need them to be occupied.  Then you casually leave it out where they will find it.  You say NOTHING.  You do NOTHING.  If they ask why it’s there you say very casually, “Oh, just something I ran across. You can look at it.”  Do not, I repeat, DO NOT tell them how exciting it will be to play with it or what they could make with it or how it will change their lives.  In fact, turn around and walk out of the room.

Then be prepared for them to explore it, dive in, read, start inventing, run outside and see if it will fly – essentially, to get engaged.  Why can’t this happen when we tell them?  This is one of the things I learned in my many years of homeschooling: even if you have a great relationship with your kids, they need their independence.  So if you say they should love it, they may very well assert that independence and say they hate it.  But if you walk away and show no investment in their engagement, it will often happen on its own.

This works for all sorts of stuff.  If dinner’s going to be late, strew some healthy snacks on the island.  When they come in to ask “When are we going to eat?!”, be nonchalant and point to the snacks.  They’ll get the message and the fact that you didn’t say, “Don’t eat the junk food, eat the healthy stuff” will mean they are free to eat it because you didn’t say they had to.  Do you follow the crazy logic in this?

If you have some important work to finish, quietly put a new or favorite game or puzzle on the table before you sneak away to your desk.  Chances are the kids will find it and start playing giving you extra time to finish that assignment.  A few pieces of cloth that they can use however they want might turn into capes, or forts, or a new skirt.

Toddler is crabby, but you need to fix lunch?  Calmly put some blocks and small cars on a low table along with a little bowl of fruit.  Refrain from telling them they have to play with it.  Remember this is toddler time when almost anything will elicit a NO when they are tired.  This kind of distraction still works for me with my older kids when I know they need a little something to make them smile.  A box of metal tavern puzzles I’ve had for years will keep them interested and challenged for a good long while, especially if there’s food too.

This is a great way to introduce your child to something new, reintroduce old games, entertain them while you work, or jumpstart some pretend play.  It also keeps them from being in front of a screen.  Whatever your objective, learn the fine art of strewing and give your children more opportunities to engage with some wonderful activities.

Sometimes all the self-help books, suggestions from well-meaning friends, and websites with good ideas are just too much.  You want to be a good parent, but you don’t have time to read every parenting book to find out how to make things smoother for you and your kids.  Fear not.  There is something that doesn’t take a book, a workshop, or an appointment to make a positive change in your parenting today.  It’s called positive amplifying feedback and here’s how it works.

Instead of noticing the things that bug you about how your child is behaving, notice the ones you like.  I mentioned this before, but focusing on the positive bears repeating.  Often we think we are positive parents.  I did until I took a couple days to keep an actual tally of the number of things I said to my kids that were positive and negative.  It was a wake-up call.  I found that there was more negative input than positive.  We’ve all heard how there needs to be more positive deposits to the child’s love bank, so make sure your deposit history puts you in the black.

How many times have you tiptoed away (so as not to break the magic spell) to get something done while your children are playing happily only to race back due to a blood curdling scream a few minutes later?  When we do this we’re giving energy to the negative conflict while the cooperative playtime gets nothing.  If what we give energy to grows, shouldn’t we do it the other way around and reward cooperative playtime with our attention?  We must acknowledge the positive.  The spell will not be broken!

1. Start looking for the things you like: a chore done without being asked, a smile instead of a snarl at wakeup time, a kind word to a sibling.  It can be small, it can be short-lived; what’s important is that you see it.  It is a shift of the mind to stop seeing the problems and discover the delights.  Tricky to do, but life-changing in the long run.

2. Tell your child what you see.  The feedback must be specific, so “Good job!” is not going to cut it.  Here’s an example:

I notice you two are playing Chinese checkers without arguing about whose turn it is.  

3. Tell your child why you are charged up about it or how it’s beneficial.

It’s great to see you using calm words to work out the rules!

4.  Ask your child how they feel about it. This allows the child to own the experience and for the message to amplify in his or her mind.

I wonder how it feels to play a whole game without stopping or fighting?

Howard Glasser explains it like this in Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach:

You create for your child’s benefit a positive picture of an event…and you re-frame that moment in such a way that the child not only can digest it as a nutritious experience of success, but in a way that lets her perceive your excitement in connection with a positively valued behavior.

Kids are expert energy readers.  They know where you focus your energy and how to get your attention.  How would your family life be different if your child chose to get your attention only by using behaviors you love?

It’s that time of year when being thankful is in the spotlight.  We gather round the table with those we love and all that good food and it is so easy to be grateful for one day.  But thankfulness doesn’t have to be a once-a-year affair.  There is much to be gained from practicing gratitude every day.

One of my favorite principles from the Parent Coaching Institute is “What we focus on grows.”  The trouble is we grow up in a society where we are taught to focus on what’s wrong, lacking, scarce, or needs to be fixed.  We focus on the problems, how someone isn’t doing their job, or that the kids are fighting again.  When we focus on those things they overshadow everything else.  In order to change our mindset from decades of searching for the downside we need to make a concerted effort to discover what IS working.

One of the most effective ways of developing this new mindset is by keeping a gratitude journal.  This can take many different forms and finding what works for you is what’s important.  In order to commit to making it a practice, it needs to be doable.  There are one-sentence-a day journals available at bookstores and even an iphone app called Day One if a pen and paper seems too mundane.  Start slow, go easy.  Pick one thing a day, or three, or five if you are inspired.  This is your practice so make it right for you.

My tried-and-true method is a little notebook on my bedside table.  As soon as my eyes are focused in the morning I scribble whatever comes to mind that I appreciate, am grateful for, or feel is working in my life.  It feels good to start the day focusing on the positive.

I was inspired by Positive Parenting Connection’s post on 10 Ways to Connect in 10 MInutes or Less.

http://positiveparentingconnection.net/10-ways-to-connect-in-10-minutes-or-less/

It has fabulous ideas for fitting in fun, affection, and connection with your kids in tiny pockets of time. And isn’t that what it’s all about? How can we use the limited time we have to connect authentically with our children?

You say, “I don’t have hours and hours available for deep connection!” I hear you. Fear not. You can make a deep connection in just a few minutes. Look for those little windows of time and make yourself available. Here are five ideas:

1. Sing a simple song to your toddler while getting her or him dressed. It makes dressing more fun and eases conflicts. A silly song may help you get the clothes on even faster!

2. Make your teen’s favorite snack and sit down to share it with them after school. Tell about something from your day before you ask them any questions about theirs. Mutual sharing keeps them from feeling like they’re on the hot seat. Better yet, share a funny story from when you were a teenager!

3. Put a jigsaw puzzle out on the table for everyone to work on. Sit and help while you chat with your kids. When their hands are busy they are more likely to converse and give you some insights to their thoughts.

4. Keep a tennis ball handy and pull it out to play catch. This is great as a little break while kids are doing homework.  Moving your body helps your brain think more clearly.

5. Spend a few minutes reading to your child before bed. These quiet times are special and will help your child drift off to sleep more easily. Set a limit you’re comfortable with at the beginning, for example one picture book or one chapter, then say goodnight and lights off.

**Bonus idea – this one takes the least time of all.**

Smile at your child and notice one thing they are doing that you like. Tell them. Simple, so simple, and yet there are days when we forget.

“I see you already have your jacket on to keep you warm on this cold day!”
“I noticed you fed the dog without being reminded. Thank you!”
“I appreciate that you kept your shower short when you knew others were waiting.”

As you take the opportunity to use these little windows of time to get in touch with your child you may see positive shifts in their behavior – your presence and acknowledgement are very much wanted and appreciated!

FOR A NEW BEGINNING

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit of adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

John O’Donahue